Although I am not skilled to understand why or how certain events happen, I do know that this is all part of God's special plan. I find comfort in believing God's plan, but it certainly does not make it easy to experience it. One of the reasons I began blogging was to have an outlet so that I can channel my emotional roller coaster of a life. Well, let me just say the roller coaster isn't stopping anytime soon. I honestly try to see the good in every situation. While my mom has made extreme improvements in her physical and mental health, She is still forced to battle the original challenge, Cancer. I hate cancer. Yall, I really really hate it. Mama has suffered through so many obstacles, and she is nothing less than a walking miracle. She amazes me everyday. Three whole months ago she was in a coma, struggling to live. Today, she is cooking Sunday dinner, and if it is even possible, i'm pretty sure her cooking is back better than ever! and so the Sunday dinner ritual continues!
Because she no longer needs healthcare assistance, we are over the moon excited that she is HOME! We pray that she continues to progress as she falls back into her everyday way of life. Because she had many other health issues to control, cancer and chemotherapy treatments were kind of on the back burner. Well, now that she's well, Daddy took her to her oncologists last week and we received bad news. In October we received good news that her tumor had shrunk by 30%, well now it is getting larger. We don't know how much larger. I mean seriously, how much bad news can one woman take? I truly can't imagine how she feels, but I all know to do is just love her as hard as I can. My heart hurts. so bad. She is on my mind every minute of the day, and I feel so helpless. My daddy is still her stronghold and is there for her every step of the way. Because chemo is no longer an option, it appears the only other option is to remove the tumor. Originally when she was diagnosed, she thought surgery was the worse case scenario. Now, she believes chemo is almost worst than cancer itself. She doesn't really talk about it much, and I can see how terrified she is when we do talk about it. And the truth is, I am scared too. I have faith in God's Will for our lives, but I am truly scared that she won't be pleased with the outcome. And so the saying goes, "when Mama aint happy, nobody's happy." As her family, we will be there for her no matter what. Prayer is such a powerful thing, and I do not take it lightly. However, sometimes I feel as though I'm praying for the wrong miracle. I just want her to be happy, I want her to know just how much she is loved by her family, friends, and community. I know that Mama has an abundance of prayer warriors out there. Please continue to lift her up in prayer. And also my Dad. He's such a strong man, but he needs a little lovin' too. :)
It's true, I have the greatest parents in the world who have taught me endless life lessons on how to love, live, and be a positive influence. I am so very blessed.
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